Careers and Marriage
Michael Noer has an excellent article in Forbes this week where in he quotes research studies to show that marrying a career oriented women would be disastrous to your happiness and marital stability. The article apparently generated so much controversy in the US that Forbes was forced to yank it off it's website, only to re-publish it a day later accompanied with a re-buttal from a female editor @ Forbes.
I honestly do think that Noer has some valid points to make. I have closely observed some of these so called high achieving/high flying women at workplace. They are way to aggressive i.e trying to push their ideas over yours and sometimes not having the courtesy to listen to what you are saying. It's almost like someone's brainwashed them by telling them - "Hey look you can't be a doormat or else you would be taken advantage of by everyone. You need to constantly get your voice heard even if it means you are basically talking crap." I would imagine that these women would probably apply the same concept at home too i.e always making their presence felt hoping that someone (mostly the husband) would take them & their ideas seriously.
In management terms this is termed a "HIGH I" behaviour i.e a constant need to influence(I) the environment they are in. The "HIGH I's" are generally scared of one thing - "Social Disapproval" and hence the constant effort to be assertive instead of being understanding & supportive. I also find it amusing that some women have a huge ego for pretty modest achievements ...sometimes as simple as having a job. I think men handle success in a much more balanced way. In other words success gets to the women's head more easily than that of a guy's , for whom parameters for success are much higher.
So in conclusion I think people should marry someone who complements your fundamental qualities. If you are the dominant type you should consider marrying someone who is the understanding and supporting type and vice-versa. Lots of things can change over the years but the fundamental qualities of a person cannot. So it's upto you to determine what these are in your potential partner and make a call based on that. And I also believe in marrying someone who is feminine & not someone who is insecure about her feminity and wants to be a be like one of the guys.
I honestly do think that Noer has some valid points to make. I have closely observed some of these so called high achieving/high flying women at workplace. They are way to aggressive i.e trying to push their ideas over yours and sometimes not having the courtesy to listen to what you are saying. It's almost like someone's brainwashed them by telling them - "Hey look you can't be a doormat or else you would be taken advantage of by everyone. You need to constantly get your voice heard even if it means you are basically talking crap." I would imagine that these women would probably apply the same concept at home too i.e always making their presence felt hoping that someone (mostly the husband) would take them & their ideas seriously.
In management terms this is termed a "HIGH I" behaviour i.e a constant need to influence(I) the environment they are in. The "HIGH I's" are generally scared of one thing - "Social Disapproval" and hence the constant effort to be assertive instead of being understanding & supportive. I also find it amusing that some women have a huge ego for pretty modest achievements ...sometimes as simple as having a job. I think men handle success in a much more balanced way. In other words success gets to the women's head more easily than that of a guy's , for whom parameters for success are much higher.
So in conclusion I think people should marry someone who complements your fundamental qualities. If you are the dominant type you should consider marrying someone who is the understanding and supporting type and vice-versa. Lots of things can change over the years but the fundamental qualities of a person cannot. So it's upto you to determine what these are in your potential partner and make a call based on that. And I also believe in marrying someone who is feminine & not someone who is insecure about her feminity and wants to be a be like one of the guys.
posted by pentium77 at 5:39 PM
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